Paul boasted that he didn’t get any of his information from the disciples who knew Jesus. A historical record states that he threw James, Jesus’ brother, down the temple steps and broke both of his legs. Many would be surprised to learn that he was the one who taught “slaves obey your masters in all things,” “women obey your husbands,” excommunication, going to church, tithing, celibacy and book-burning, none of it from Jesus. He launched the Inquisition with the words, “Those who commit such are worthy of death.” His “scriptures” against the Jews led to the Holocaust.
Those who insist that the New Testament be taken literally are often unaware about which things the Gospels say Jesus actually said. Jesus didn’t teach Hell or Adam and Eve, and he didn’t want to be worshipped. It might help Democrats politically for people to know that it was Paul, not Jesus, who taught, “let the poor eat at home. Don’t they have houses to eat in?” and “he who does not take care of his own is worse than an infidel,” and “he who does not work should not eat.”
DID YOU KNOW?
- Jesus never mentioned Adam and Eve or the doctrine of the Fall of Man. He didn’t teach that all were cursed sinners born in sin, or that people had to go to church, tithe ten percent, be celibate, or obey the government. He never said they had to die to experience Heaven, or wait for the end of the world. He didn’t preach shame and guilt. Jesus didn’t teach that people are punished with eternal torment, or that he created the world. He didn’t say the world was in subjection to man, or that all scriptures were inspired by God.
- The Apostle Paul and others added that, and added the Inquisition, Excommunication, the Divine Right of Kings, Intercession, Predestination, and that women and slaves should be obedient and silent. Peter added that everyone should obey every ordinance of man. Jesus was worshiped as a god and his sublime teachings about brotherly love were ignored. The Spirit of Truth became something the apostles bestow to an elect, instead of being inside everyone. The kingdom, instead of being here and now, was in the future somewhere else.
- Jesus said to hear, not read the word of God. He said we could see the kingdom of heaven, and enter it, “on earth as it is in heaven.” It was Paul and others who added that “those that are in the flesh cannot please God,” and “flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God,” and “the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God.” Dark prophecies by unknown theologians continue to convince people that this world is evil and cursed, that we shouldn’t try to fix it or to live decently and fairly with one another.
- Paul killed the first martyr, burned the first books, had fights with all his friends, and incited angry mobs wherever he went. His first miracle was striking a man blind. His writings and influence fill up almost the entire New Testament, although he wrote almost nothing that Jesus taught. He said it was all right if God gained glory “through my lie.” The mystery theologians who later wrote half his letters in his name, said they were “deceivers yet true.” Roman historian Josephus states that “Saul”was “of the king’s kindred,” Two separate times he traveled to urge Roman authorities to quell a Jewish rebellion. “Centius sent Saul and his friends, at their own desire, to Nero to inform him.” This led to the total destruction of Jerusalem by the Romans in 70 A.D., and the slaughter of almost all its inhabitants.
- Paul’s doctrines, so different from those of Jesus, are not in other early texts. He states that they are all from “revelation,” not from anyone who knew Jesus. When Peter visited Paul in Antioch, Paul was rude to him in front of a roomful of people. He boasted, “they added nothing unto me,” about other disciples whose views differed from his. Paul was converted to a church whose focus was away from Jesus’ teachings, more toward belief in a Hellenistic dying and rising god. Ritual group meals with bread and wine were already common before Jesus came, in Greek societies called symposiums. “Taking up your cross” was a common expression meaning to face difficulties.
- Many Old Testament prophecies cited in the Bible are not about Jesus as claimed, but about King David or others. References to “hell” are about Gehenna, the trash dump outside Jerusalem where they burned trash and the dead with fire and brimstone. Jesus said that nothing going into a person’s mouth could corrupt them, only what comes out. He turned water into wine. It was Paul who decided that revelers couldn’t inherit the kingdom.
- What Jesus allegedly said about “the apocalypse” seems to be an accurate prediction of the destruction of Jerusalem by the Romans in 70 A.D. Some believe that this part was added after the events. Jesus himself did not predict that he would return dressed in a vestment dipped in blood, and kill so many with a sword that blood would run as high as a horse’s bridle for the distance of two hundred miles. John of Patmos in Revelation wrote this while “in a trance,” and advised mankind to “let the unjust be unjust still.”
- Matthew, Mark, Luke and Acts are anonymous, and are merely attributed to Jesus’s disciples or Paul’s traveling companions. Each Gospel may not have been written by one person, but by a group over a long time. Stories were retold over campfires for decades before the Gospels were written. Insertions and even parts of sentences may have been added later.
- The only Gospel writer who claims to have known Jesus personally was John. His Gospel has no hell, no exorcisms, no baptism, no transfiguration, nothing about his birth, and no communion ritual. Many scholars believe that the earliest source of Jesus’ words was the lost Gospel Q, which is still found woven into Mark, Matthew and Luke. The Gospel of Thomas, not used here, claims to contain “the Words the Living Jesus Spoke.”
- Paul the Apostle had an overwhelming influence on the New Testament. He and his followers wrote all the letters attributed to him, and his traveling companions Mark and Luke (according to tradition) wrote the Gospels of Mark and Luke, and the Acts of the Apostles. The Gospel writers of Matthew and Luke copied Mark, which was written first. Many doctrines or claims about Jesus were first written about in Paul’s letters or Acts, and then showed up in the Gospels, written much later. These include early accounts of the resurrection and the Last Supper with the communion ritual, Paul’s opinion about divorce, the belief that Jesus should be worshiped like a god, the concept of Jesus paying God ransom, and the practices of speaking in tongues, prophesying, and handling snakes.
- Attributing new teachings to a deceased founder of a school of thought was accepted practice. It appears that the school of Paul added more authority for church leaders, more apocalyptic vengeance and many warnings to obey rulers. Paul’s letters (about 50 A.D.) to the Romans, Corinthians, Galatians, Philippians, I Thessalonians, and Philemon, are considered authentic. The letters to the Ephesians, Colossians, II Thessalonians, Timothy, Titus and Hebrews, are not thought authentic by many scholars. Here these are attributed to “Mystery Theologians.”
First Two Pages (out of 10) of the Table of Contents:
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS JESUS REALLY TAUGHT
Heal the Brokenhearted (1), He that Is Not Against Us Is For Us (2), Give To Him that Asketh Thee (3), The Kingdom Is Within You (4), Forgive, and You Will Be Forgiven (5), Love Your Enemies (6)
A TREASURE IN THE HEAVENS THAT FAILETH NOT
Jesus on Wealth: Labour Not for the Meat Which Perisheth (7), Lilies of the Field (How to Recession-Proof Your Lifestyle) (7), Vices: Religious Leaders Called Jesus A Gluttonous Winebibber (8), How Jesus Planned to Celebrate His Return to the Kingdom (9), Jesus’ Mom Gets Him to Manufacture A Controlled Substance (9)
THE FATHER HIMSELF LOVETH YOU
Prayer: Enter Into Thy Closet (10), Seek and Ye Shall Find (11), Jesus On Prisoners (11), Jesus On The Afterlife: “He Is Not A God of the Dead”(12), The Comforter: The Spirit of Truth In You (13)
JESUS ON RELIGION: YE SHALL KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS
Wolves In Sheep’s Clothing (14), “My Doctrine Is Not Mine:” Jesus Denies He’s God (15) Jesus’ Opinion of Some Religious Leaders (17)
GOD’S MESSAGE TO PEACEMAKERS AND TREEHUGGERS: I WILL GIVE YOU A MOUTH AND WISDOM
Blessed Are the Peacemakers (18), Greater Works (19), Lambs Among Wolves (20), The Stoned the Builders Rejected (21), If the World Hate You (22), The Spirit Is Willing (24), Jesus’ Strategies for the Peace Movement (25), A Story for Peace Activists: Persistence in Law Reform Wins (26)
GOD’S ADVICE FOR SOME MISINFORMED RIGHT-WING RELIGIOUS LEADERS
Ye Shut Up the Kingdom of Heaven Against Men (27), If the Light in Thee Be Darkness (28), Ye Have Caused Many to Stumble (29), God’s Message for Fiscally Conservative Free-Market Preachers: “For the Oppression of the Poor Will I Arise” (30), God’s Advice on Farming (32), God’s Opinion of Poor People on Welfare (32), God’s Opinion of Immigrants and Eunuchs (33)
WARNING: YOU ARE NOW ENTERING PAUL’S DOCTRINES
“THROUGH MY LIE” (What Paul and Mystery Theologians Added that Still Affects Our Lives)
Paul Got His Doctrines by “Revelation;” His Contact with Peter, John and James “Added Nothing Unto Me” (34), Paul: “Through My Lie”(35), Paul: “Be Ye Followers of Me” (35), Paul’s Nasty Opinion of Humankind (36), Jesus’ Glowing Opinion of Humankind (38), Paul: “Man’s Wisdom Is Vain” (38), Paul Was A Creationist (39), Mystery Theologians: “Avoiding Oppositions of Science” (40)
PAUL SPEAKS: WOMEN KEEP SILENCE
The Head of the Woman Is the Man (40), Mystery Theologians Speak: Wives Submit Yourselves (41), Paul’s Fashion Advice for Women: “Let Her Be Shorn” (42), Mystery Theologians’ Fashion Advice: Braids Are Evil (42), Paul’s Fashion Advice for Men: “If A Man Have Long Hair, It Is A Shame Unto Him” (Why Some Literalists Are Suspicious of Long-Haired Pacifists)(also, Paul’s Opinion of Jesus’ Hairstyle) (42)
PAUL: “WHO SHALL CHANGE OUR VILE BODY?”
Ye Have Yielded Your Members (43), Paul Speaks: Flee Fornication (44), Mystery Theologians’ Advice: “Neither Give Place to the Devil” (45), Paul Speaks: Be a Virgin or Celibate (45), Paul’s Problem: “Another Law In My Members” (47), Popeye Plagiarized Paul (49), Mortify Your Members (49), Paul Speaks: Revelers Beware (You’re in the Same Category as Witches and Murderers) (49)
PAUL ON POVERTY: “IF ANY MAN HUNGER, LET HIM EAT AT HOME”
Paul: “Have Ye Not Houses to Eat and to Drink In?” (51), Mystery Theologians on Poverty: “If Any Would Not Work, Neither Should He Eat” (52), Why Many Fundamentalists Don’t Like Welfare (53), Where the Prosperity Gospel Came From (54), Mystery Theologians Approve Tithing (54), Paul Establishes the Divine Right of Kings (55), Mystery Theologians Put Teeth in The Divine Right of Kings (56), Paul’s Opinion About Slavery (57), Paul Returns a Runaway Slave to His Master (57), Mystery Theologians: “Slaves Obey in All Things Your Masters ”(58)
HERETICS ACCURSED; BOOKS TORCHED
Paul Speaks: Ministers of Satan (60) Paul’s Parting Warning: “Grievous Wolves Will Enter In Among You” (61), Mystery Theologians: Heretics Into Doctrines of Devils (62), Paul on the Word: Not to Doubtful Disputations (63), Mystery Theologians Declare the Word Infallible (65), Paul Ignites the First Church Book-Burning (66)
PAUL LAUNCHES THE INQUISITION
Paul: “They Which Commit Such Things Are Worthy of Death” (66), Paul on Killing Heretics: a Nice Community Event (67), Mystery Theologians Speak:“Them that Sin Rebuke Before All” (68), Paul Suggests Excommunication: Family Members Eat Alone (If at All) (70), Mystery Theologians on Excommunication: “Note that Man, and Have No Company with Him” (71), Jesus’ Opinion of the Inquisition (72)